Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Is nothing sacred anymore?

If you're anything like me, (and hopefully you're not) you have a mortal fear of dentistry. I mean, who in their right mind wants to stick their fingers in peoples mouths all day. Bleack! My fear is so great that I obsess for days about having to go, what they're going to say, and how much work I'm going to have done. I have worn headphones to the dentist since I was 15. At some point I will either have hearing damage from my music or mouth cancer from all the x-rays. As a child my molars would grow in with cavities and I don't even want to think of what I've spent over the years. Probably enough for a 8 month vacation to Forks, WA.

Unfortunately, I had to go for a cleaning today which went really well when they finally decided to call me back. I arrived at the standard fifteen minutes before my appointment time of 12 pm, hoping to get called back early and make it back to the library without burning too much sick time. After checking in, I started a new YA book (Dead is Not an Option) and waited. And waited. And waited. Suddenly, my patient "waiting/reading to pass the fear time" is interrupted.

The man sitting across from me asks out of the blue, "Did you go see that new vampire movie yet?" To which I replied, "Yes, I saw it at midnight on Thursday night." What gave me away? Was my Twilight bag, various Twilight/Vampire buttons, Bella hat (that I crocheted to match her's in Eclipse), or my "I heart Fangs" button on my jacket. I continued to answer his questions and complaints about the film, specifically that they ended it wrong. I informed him that they ended it the same way the chapter ends in the book and that they had to cut the movie in two somewhere. At this, he got up and walked away. Don't mess with a Twerd, you'll never win.

At this break, I decided to ask if my dentist was running behind (it's 12:10 by this time). "No," the receptionist replied, "They'll be to get you in a minute." So I sit back down and continue to read. Not two minutes later a woman and her screaming three year old have a seat and fight for the next twenty minutes. I couldn't hear myself think, let alone read. He's so loud that I hear the pharmacy window slam shut and the tech yell, "I can't hear my phone call over that." And yes, I did say twenty minutes later a second ago. It is now 12:30 and my nerves are shot. I just want to get this over with and get out of here!! Right as I get ready to reschedule, the hygienist calls me back.

"What kept you? Was 12 to early?,"  nice hygiene lady asks me. Excuse me? Is she accusing me of being late? One thing you should know is that I am NEVER late to an appointment. People's time is valuable, which is why appointments are made and confirmed. "No, I've been waiting here for 40 minutes to be called back," is my reply because I'm too mad to say anything else. "Well, the receptionist said you just got here, so I came to get you, you don't need to be back at work soon do you?" Again, is my time not sacred enough, or is theirs just more important?

By the time I get into the chair, remind her that the polish will kill me if they use it because it's dyed red, tell her I need to get back to work, get my teeth cleaned with toothpaste (which I do twice a day already), and have my ear drums blown out by Muse, my fear is no where to be found. Can I not come to the dentist like a scared little girl anymore? It's the only response I know. I don't know how to act like a good quiet patient. Huh, maybe I can grow up after all.

And hopefully the next time I return, screaming demon child will have grown up a little more too and not be hitting his mommy anymore and Mr. "I know how all movies should be made" will pick up a book and learn what really goes on in a story. And maybe, just maybe the cosmos will decide next time to let me keep my reading interrupted, my hearing in one piece, and my fear in complete and utter chaos, as is how all things should be.

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